home-coming!

books. i dont know when they started protecting me. protecting me from everthing i feared. my books made me who i am. yet i've been away. i never said a word to them and i just left. and now i came back. came full circle to the pale beige walls and the wooden shelves.... the room lit with sunlight streaming in through thin off-white cuRtain... and rows and shelves of books. all kinds of books. old and new and dusty and clean.they were my friends and they knew me. "I soon possessed myself of a volume, taking care that it should be one stored with pictures. I mounted into the window-seat: gathering up my feet, I sat cross-legged, like a Turk; and, having drawn the red moreen curtain nearly close, I was shrined in double retirement."( Jane Eyre)
i stayed there ,hidden, with the leather bound, golden engraved friends who stood there like walls around me. holding within my pride, knowledge, my soul and every emotion ever felt. it was like i was home, after a storm had tried to take away my inside from me and shake me down to nothing.i was replenished and revived. . 

MIRROR MIRROR.......

sometimes i think im aging too quick. Every woman's woes! But really im just 21... i should be happy with myself. but everytime i look into the mirror i see a woman who has seen so many things ,staring back at me. i dont see ignorance and joy. like life and things have sobered her down. i see a seriousness... a realisation in her eyes she knows things beyond her age. so perceptive , those eyes are. nearly scares me. she doesn't feel young anymore.... but she did once! nothing feels new anymore. i see her drown in her own ocean of thoughts. imagery strikes and her mind takes the form of a russian circus... yellow lights and fire and flame-orange tents, with a mass of things happening all at one time in on place. yet she has the poker-faced expression of calm and serenity. but i see the storm raging behind those placid eyes.