i can save the world!
im not being funny or romanticizing it. trust me i know i can. it can all be good again. listen to me when i say this. dont you know how its been lately, and you've been so complacent in this rotten air.....why? how? how can you stand this?? something needs to be done. it suffocates me to the core......my country is falling apart right in front of me......it's tearing up like small pieces of thin paper. and you just sit there watching, expecting me to do the same.... i can help it.... dnt tell me i'm too small and that i dont know, cause i damn well the know!!!!! i have solutions , i have salvation, just hear me out...... HEAR ME OUT.... I KNOW....... I KNOW THE ANSWERS.... I KNOW THE FREAKIN' ANSWERS MAN!! WHY DON'T YOU SEE???
I can save it. believe me, i can!

THE BENGALI DREAM

i parked my 1980's fiat outside the rusted iron gate. it was noon and i was late. i showed myself in. it was a quiet looking pre-independence typically tropical Bengal bungalow. that must have been home to some sahib working for the raj. the gardens were well mowed and green as if waiting for the sparrows to come and chat with them.i knocked on the wooden door but got no answer. i pushed a little it was already open. i walked into a sun lit decorated with wooden hangings and mirrors on the wall.i then heard the sound of sweet music. humming! my feet followed the sound that so en captured my ears.
it was then that i saw her.through the shell bead curtains of the kitchen, i saw a vision! clad in the cotton of Bengal. as she moved her Saree sweeped the floor. she hummed a sweet song in her mother tongue about homecoming, while she made tea. her wet hair fell long till her hips. the music of her movement and being had enslaved me and i stood there unable to move. she was my Bengali dream.
she was alone.... really?was there ever a man?was she awaiting her lover? or perhaps there had been a man, a long lost lover who was no more or had abandoned her. she seemed content..or is it just wish full thinking?!!?
the questions about her baffled me. if you saw her you'd know.she seemed self-sufficient. she dint need a man to complete her, she was a content soul. she was power. it was like seeing a living image of a goddess right in front of me. she is might and beauty.she does not need man, but it is mad that needs her. worships her. she can save and destroy.... i stood there destroyed by her ready to be saved by her. oh, how i know, i could worship her!!!! it was like that in one moment looking at her, i knew what i really needed. like, if i could be with her, life's mystery would be solved. like she was the answer to everything i needed.
right as i was thinking all that, the caretaker tapped my shoulder and i gave hm the package that needed to be delivered and drove off.
i never saw her again but even when today she gives me the same meaning she did 20 years ago when i wore a younger man's clothes.
bidding farewell
THE QUEEN
may the emerald shine forever........

shades of red everywhere...
why wont they leave me..?!
i close my eyes and i see red
they're snapped open to see red.
the tears are red,
the smiles are red.
kill me! the clothes are red.
drown me! the water's red!
cut me! the cursed blood is red!!!!
touch me! it's red all over again...

bidding farewell,
THE QUEEN.

may the emerald shine forever.....